Full Circle
by bardsocko
Summary: The End of Evangelion concluded with dissonant ambiguity. Here, are a collection of conversations that complete the series with a final release of tension.
1. Revelations

The pale light of the moon caused the white sand to glint softly as crimson sheets of liquid lapped up against the shoreline extending into the sea of LCL that dominated the horizon. The profile of the enormous Lilith head could be seen in the distance as it slowly sank back into the waves of the red ocean, blank eyes staring off into the dark skies.

Shinji sat atop Asuka, a trembling heap of emotions; elation, fear, guilt, and rage all struggled to dominate his next actions. Tears that had ceased to flow from his eyes slowly ran down his slender face, landing in a collection of droplets on Asuka's blank face. Unsure of what his next actions were to be, and too tired to say anything, Shinji remained immobilized, agonizing over how he would confront Asuka.

Asuka relieved him of the necessity to say anything, by breaking the long silence.

"So Ikari,…… how long you planning on staying on top?" Shinji began to blush furiously and rolled off of her, averting his eyes and keeping his head bowed low.

"………I…..sorry…..I….."

Asuka regarded him slowly, "You what?" she asked as she wiped his tears off her cheeks, "Wanted to finish what you started in your fetish fantasies?" Shinji's eyes widened with shocked horror.

"You…? But…..how?"

Asuka sat up next to him, looking at the sea of red LCL for a while before answering.

"It happened after the fight with those damn Eva Series, when I…," she trailed off, not sure how to continue.

"When you were killed," Shinji finished for her in an agonized whisper, as the images of her mangled and shredded Unit-02 came rushing back into his mind in all their gory detail. At his comment, Asuka whirled to face him.

"When I lost!" she bit out angrily, clearly dissatisfied with the result of the battle. Her expression softened as she continued talking,

"Right afterwards….. I saw her….the First Child….Rei…. she was standing in front of me. Only as she got closer, I saw mama er, my mother…and she was smiling at me." Shinji stared at her blankly not knowing what to say. Asuka noticed his skeptical scrutiny and grabbed his collar with her hands savagely.

"What? You don't believe me?" she all but screeched into his face. Shinji averted his eyes and stared at the ground and began to mumble.

"I don't know what to believe…. I saw Kaoru, and Ayanami in the sky before _**it** _happened," he shuddered with remembered horror and ecstasy at the moment, "After that, I felt like I was melting away, dissolving… And then…." He stopped talking, having noticed that Asuka was no longer looking at him. Instead, her eyes were focused on the giant Lilith face.

"She told me I had to see it."

Shinji regarded her in a puzzled manner.

"Had to see what?"

"Had to see myself as others saw me," Asuka ground out between clenched teeth, "The little bitch said it was the only way back."

At this, Shinji became more confused.

"Back where?"

Asuka snorted at his question, her patience with him as short as it always was.

"What are you, stupid?" she barked, "Back here of course!"

Shinji continued to remain silent, allowing her to collect her thoughts and continue her story.

"I already had what I wanted," she said more gently, "I didn't want to be a part of the Third Impact." Here, she threw a haughty glare at Shinji that made him wonder why he had been so eager to see her again, "At least not one that you were instigating, Ikari."

Ignoring her jibe, Shinji turned to gaze at the ocean of LCL where he had seen Rei standing moments ago.

"Ayanami wanted you to see the 'you' in my head?"

Asuka nodded slowly, her expressive face melting into another angry glare as she twisted Shinji's ear with her unbandaged hand.

"Owww! What the hell was that for?"

"I saw your little representation of me! What the hell is wrong with you Shinji! You think I'm some kind of mega-bitch?" At this question, Shinji had to turn away, the retort struggling to get out. Asuka continued; the hardness in her voice giving way slightly to exasperation.

"I'll admit, most of the time, you were to put it nicely, a whipped little boy with no hope of comparing to someone like Mr. Kaji," Asuka paused after mentioning his name, a little catch entering her voice. She continued on more softly as Shinji continued to look away from her.

"But Shinji, I never said I wouldn't help you." Shinji swiftly brought his face up to hers, his eyes filled with tears, his voice thick with the hurt of rejection.

"When did you give me a reason to believe you would help me? You always gave me a hard time, you never were nice to me, you hated me more than Ayanami even after it was her that saved you from that Angel!"

His words were cut off as Asuka soundly slapped him across the face with her good hand, and grabbed his chin with her bandaged hand so his eyes were forced to meet hers.

"You never asked," Asuka slowly hissed into his face.

Shinji's eyes slowly lost their fire, and the rage that was filling his body left him, to be replaced by guilt and regret. He sighed slowly as Asuka released him, and turned his eyes away from her again.

"I never deserved your help," he said quietly, "I never tried to understand you, and I never tried to help you ," His words were again cut off, but the speed with which Asuka's hand reached his face was greatly reduced this time.

Caressing his cheek softly with her bandaged hand, Asuka smiled weakly at him.

"I never asked you to, Shinji," she said softly as he regarded her tender touch with a mixture of shock and yearning.

"Asuka," he managed to get out, "I…."

Asuka cleared her throat as she removed her hand from Shinji's face, and changed the topic of the conversation.

"For what it's worth Shinji, after seeing your fantasies, I'm glad I woke up with your face over mine, and not some other body part," she mentioned slyly, a dark grin spreading across her face.

Shinji's face turned a crimson that rivaled the color of the LCL in front of them.

"Oh God….I, well….. you see…. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit….," he started muttering to himself, his hands clasped around his knees, his body rocking back and forth, as if willing the memory to go away.

Stretching her arms over her head languorously, Asuka eyed Shinji with a malicious grin on her face.

"I guess I should be flattered. I'm surprised you picked me after those offers Misato was throwing your way. But then," she said with exaggerated disgust, "You always did have a thing for dead girls… Take Ayanami for instance…."

Shinji stopped rocking and eyed her out of the corner of his eyes.

"I………. I'm sorry……..I…," he couldn't finish, knowing that no words could make up for the desecration he had committed over Asuka's unconscious body. But to his amazement, Asuka started waving him off dismissively.

"Would you stop apologizing already," she said with a sigh, "It's not like saying you're sorry is gonna change it. Besides, I wasn't even really there for the fireworks," she slowly looked down at his groin, causing Shinji to blush, "Or the lack thereof."

"Besides," she went on, smiling maliciously, "There were other times you could have taken advantage of me, but didn't have the balls." Shinji slowly looked up at her.

"Like that night before we had to fight that Angel together," she said a little too smugly for his liking. "I knew you wanted to kiss me. Didn't you?" she asked him, with a lazy smile on her face."

Clearing his throat after a long pause, Shinji spoke in a small voice.

"Y-yeah…" he admitted with a grimace of self-loathing, "But then you started saying 'Mama,' and I saw the tears in your eyes." Shinji gulped down the pain that started flooding into his voice.

"I know how it feels to lose your mother. I know the feeling of loneliness…. Of emptiness… of knowing that you've lost something that will make you incomplete forever…" Shinji trailed off as he saw tears fill Asuka's eyes. The same tears he had seen so many nights ago.

"What the hell do you know about what I went through!" Asuka snapped, turning away from him and furiously swiping tears from her eyes as she cursed in German under her breath.

Her rejection came so automatically, and it still hurt to know that she was keeping him away, but Shinji had come to realize that the rejection was a reflex, used without any thought behind it. He watched her try to bring her emotions under control, watched her attempt to suppress her sadness behind the wall of angry contempt she tried to project at all times.

Shinji hesitated, knowing that his actions would once again lead him to pain, fear, and rejection, but he knew that the time of running had finally come to an end. Whatever pain he felt now would be validation of his existence.

Gently but firmly, he wrapped his right arm around Asuka, pulling her against him. Characteristically, she stiffened up and started resisting his efforts, but after a moment's struggle, she leaned into him, pressing her head against his chest, and allowing the warmth of his support to soothe her troubled spirit. For Asuka too, it appeared the time of running away had finally come to an end.

Clinging to Shinji tightly, Asuka began to pour out the pain that had burdened her for too long.

"She hung herself the day I was chosen to pilot Eva," Asuka said in a dull voice, her body trembling with emotion.

Shinji remained silent, allowing the story to come out at its own pace.

"I ran. I ran to the hospital to tell her about…..about my being selected," Asuka said, her voice cracking as she continued, "And there she was….hanging from the ceiling….her feet dangling down…..her eyes were just staring down at me…..mocking me."

Silent tears that had refused to come out for years came tumbling out as Asuka pressed on, her azure eyes burning with remembered pain and confusion.

"She abandoned me. No goodbyes, no explanations….just silence."

Shinji sent a silent prayer to his mother as he cast about in his mind for the right things to say.

"A few months later….my father got involved with another woman…..she said that I was…..a burden. My….my own father sent me away to live with strangers," Asuka's eyes flashed up at Shinji, as if daring him to explain it all.

"I knew then…..I had to be strong….I could never rely on anyone! Anyone but!"

"Anyone but your self," Shinji interrupted softly as he rubbed Asuka's right arm with his hand and cradled her head against his chest. She nodded and some of the old anger in her voice started returning.

Her voice rising with intensity, Asuka recited the words as if they were from a script, "I hated everyone! It was all their fault that mama left me! All their fault father didn't love me anymore…..," Her voice died off at the end, her futile anger at the world slowing diffusing out after finally sharing her pain with another soul.

"And yet," Shinji finished for her sadly, "Over the years you began to hate yourself, because in your mind, maybe….just maybe…. Your mother and father may have been right to hate you…."

Spent from the catharsis of emotion that had swept through her, Asuka simply nodded agreement, her eyes fixed somewhere else off in the distance. It was a while before she broke the silence again.

"The longer I kept up the act, the more painful it became…I…," She shook her head with frustration, "It was such a stupid mistake…"

"While she was taking me to Unit-01, Misato told me her whole life was a series of mistakes and regrets," Shinji offered quietly. Asuka snorted at this and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, well that's no surprise."

Shinji smiled at that, and continued.

"But she said that with each mistake, each regret, she learned something that made her a better person."

Asuka thought about that for some time, her eyes unfocused. Then, she brought her head up and looked at Shinji intently.

"Wonder Girl told me it was you who controlled the Third Impact. What did you learn?"

It was Shinji's turn to think about something for a moment, and after a while he brought his eyes back to Asuka's and smiled weakly.

"I learned that someone with as many flaws as I do, has no right to decide the fate of humanity." Asuka laughed at his reply softly and smirked at him with some of her old confidence.

"So God's in his Heaven and all's right with the world, huh?" she asked him, quoting NERV's old slogan, "Forgive me for saying this Shinji…. God may be in his Heaven, but all is not right with the world!" To emphasize her point, she gestured at the ocean of red LCL that dominated the landscape, the long crimson cloud of LCL that streaked through the sky, slightly obscuring the moon, and the mountainous pieces of Lilith's body that lay around them for several miles.

Shinji's eyes lost their focus and became glazed over as he remembered his mother's parting words with him.

"All humans can return to their forms if they have the will to live, and a picture in their minds of their original form."

Asuka frowned in confusion at his vague statement.

"What the hell are you talking about, Ikari?"

But Shinji wasn't listening to her. He began to mumble to himself for a while, piecing together Asuka's recount of her time spent in the merged soul of humanity. Abruptly, he looked at her.

"Maybe that's why Ayanami wanted you to see the 'you' in my mind," Shinji whispered, "Without others to base your point-of-view on, your references of individual identity don't exist, and neither would you…."

Frowning even more deeply, Asuka pinched Shinji's cheek with her bandaged hand as if trying to bring him back to his senses.

"Enough with the psychobabble, Freud," she complained peevishly, "What matters is I came back!"

Regarding her patiently until she released his cheek, Shinji pressed on.

"So why did you come back?"

Asuka roughly brushed Shinji's arm off her shoulders and spun around so that they were face to face. Bringing her unbandaged hand up, she placed her index finger a few centimeters from his nose.

"I wanted to make it clear to you that your victories over the other Angels had nothing to do with superior piloting abilities," she pronounced with an air of smugness, "It was all 'cause of Unit-01 you kept winning."

Shinji stared at her for a long moment, and then unexpectedly started to grin, which caused Asuka to recoil from him as if he had struck her.

"Asuka," he began slowly, "We both know you're a much better pilot than I could ever hope to be. I never once suggested I was better than you in all the missions we sortied together."

Stunned into further silence at his generous statement, Asuka started to blush in a pleased sort of way. Nodding slowly, the pleasure at his admission was obvious in her blue eyes.

"Well….good….so long as we're clear on that….," she trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

Shinji nodded firmly to reinforce his sincerity, then launched another attack.

"Asuka, why did you really come back?" he asked again.

"Oh no Third Child," Asuka replied with renewed confidence, "Now it's my turn to ask a question. Like why you of all people would have the balls to come back."

Shinji seemed to shrink in on himself when she asked the question, and a long moment of silence followed as he thought about his response. He pointed at the red ocean and the waves of LCL that rhythmically lapped up against the shore a few feet in front of them.

"When I was in the LCL… I talked with Ayanami. She made me understand what it was the Third Impact meant for humanity," Shinji stated quietly as Asuka turned to look at him intently.

"And?" she demanded impatiently after Shinji failed to continue.

In response, Shinji reached out and clasped his hand over Asuka's bandaged one. Surprised at his action, Asuka let out a gasp of outrage, and stiffened up, while at the same time, trying to pull her hand free.

"It meant no boundaries, no limits," Shinji breathed out, refusing to let go of her hand, "I would never feel the solid warmth of your hand, the stiffness of your rejection, or the disgust in your eyes." He laughed softly, a slight tinge of desperation in his voice, "It would all be the same; love, hate, anger, happiness, fear, loneliness…. As one, we wouldn't feel any of those things."

Shinji relaxed his grip on Asuka's hand, but inexplicably, she didn't pull it away.

"Such an existence would be akin to not living at all," he said firmly, "Running away from life itself. I've run away from everything all my life, and it never solved anything. I decided I'd rather live in a world with pain, than not live at all," Shinji finished quietly, avoiding Asuka's eyes.

The weight of his decision seemed to catch up with Shinji, and tears of relief, regret, and confusion began to pour out of his eyes. Asuka stared at him, and saw in him the same fear and cowardice he would probably have for the rest of his life, and knew it should have sickened her. Perhaps, on some level it did, but she also knew that no matter what, she and Shinji would always be connected somehow in a way that would heal both their tortured souls.

Tentatively, gently, Asuka reached out with her unbandaged hand, and wrapped her fingers around Shinji's other hand. Feeling the raw emotions that shivered through his whole body, Asuka lent him the support and understanding he had given to her only a few moments ago. Slowly, his tears stopped, and the trembling in his hands settled as they took in the warm acceptance of her grip. He looked up, and let his eyes meet hers.

"Mainly, I came back because I had wanted to say the things….I should have said to you before."

"What did you want to say?" Asuka asked; her voice uncharacteristically quiet and gentle.

Shinji looked away, too scared of the disgust or contempt that might come in response to his words..

"That I- I wanted to help you," Shinji stammered, "That whatever it was you were going through, I wanted to share it with you, because…..because….," He trailed off, not wanting to continue.

"Because you needed someone to share your pain with too," Asuka finished for him, her hands squeezing his.

Shinji brought his eyes back to hers, and smiled wistfully.

"I know it sounds selfish,"

"It is selfish," Asuka bluntly interrupted him but smiled to take the sting off her retort, "But that doesn't mean it's wrong."

"Asuka…," Shinji whispered as she leaned into him again, her red hair spilling over her shoulders as she nuzzled his chest. As he put his arms around her, she began to talk.

"You asked why I came back… I came back because after piloting Eva one last time, I knew that what truly kept me alive all these years was my mother's love. Eva wasn't mine to control and bring glory upon myself," Asuka stated with a rueful grin on her face.

"No, Eva was my guardian, my protector. Eva was my mother's undying love for me," Asuka finished with a truly joyous smile on her face, "Knowing her love had never abandoned me, I knew I could come back and truly live my life."

"Ah, well I'm glad you found what you were looking for," Shinji said, attempting to mask the slight disappointment in his voice. Not missing a beat, Asuka looked up at him and grinned, her eyes dancing with mischief.

"I knew you would get hurt if I didn't mention you somewhere in my explanation, you dork!"

Shinji's cheeks burned with embarrassment at having been caught.

"Well no… it's not what you think…. I mean," his stumbling recovery was cut off as Asuka abruptly slithered out of his embrace and put him in a headlock with her arms.

"Ow! Dammit Asuka, cut it out! Stop it, stop it!" Shinji protested, which caused Asuka to laugh with glee and apply even more force. Keeping him in the headlock, Asuka spoke into his ear.

"Yeah that's right Ikari. Not even death itself could keep you safe from me."

"I understand! I understand! Now let go, dammit!" Shinji managed to gasp out before Asuka released him. As he gasped for breath on the sand, Asuka shook with mirth and thumped him on the back for good measure. A while passed in awkward silence as they pondered the collapse of the barrier that had been separating them for so long.

"Shinji…. I'd be lying if I said I came back just for you," Asuka said in a serious tone, "I know there was always unfinished business between us, and maybe part of the reason I came back was to resolve some of it, but…..," Asuka faltered here, looking away nervously.

"But your reasons for coming back are your own," Shinji finished for her, not in the least bit perturbed. He smiled reassuringly at her as she slowly brought her eyes back to his.

"When I decided to stop the Third Impact, it was in the hope that everyone here would make the choice that wasn't granted to them before this whole mess started." Shinji grasped Asuka's hand the same way he had held Rei's in the sea of LCL and felt the pressure of her returning squeeze.

"I'm relieved you came back here because of your own reasons and not some outside force," Shinji gulped as he continued, "And I'm flattered to hear I was at least _one_ of the reasons you came back." Asuka smiled softly at his words and brought her other hand up to rest on Shinji's shoulder.

"So here we are Ikari, the last two humans on earth for the time being. Does that make us the next Adam and Eve?"

"I have no idea," Shinji said with a shrug, "But I do know what we left was no paradise, and I for one, will not be missing it."

Asuka's face slid into suspicion and she sat up so that her face was inches from Shinji's.

"Shinji, despite whatever perverted thoughts you might be getting, in light of recent events I haven't consented to be your wife or lover in any capacity!"

Shinji's face flared scarlet and he sputtered with a mixture of embarrassment, shock, and a slight dose of disappointment.

"I – I –I never suggested you should be! I mean that is… I don't think there's anything wrong with you… I mean I wouldn't take advantage – I mean….," Shinji stopped speaking as Asuka brought her unbandaged fingers to his lips to silence him.

"What, are you stupid?" she asked softly as she smiled at him, "I was joking."

Taking her hand away from his face, she put it back it back on his shoulder and looked at him again, her blue eyes piercing him with scrutiny.

"What is it that you want Shinji?"

Shinji averted his eyes and the two sat in silence for a while, the only sound coming from the waves of LCL that washed ashore a few feet in front of them. Finally, Shinji seemed to arrive at an answer.

"After the battle with Unit-03, when I…," Shinji shuddered with revulsion, "When, my father maimed Toji. I wanted to run away from it all again….I didn't want to pilot something that was capable of that."

Asuka said nothing, her face impassive as Shinji continued to pour out his heart.

"It was during the Angel's attack, I ran into Mr. Kaji," Shinji whispered as he felt Asuka's hands stiffen, "He was just standing around this big patch of watermelons with a watering can in one hand and a cigarette in the other. When he asked why I wasn't piloting Eva, I tried to explain my reasons for leaving."

All that remained visible of the giant Lilith head in the distance was the top of the head, as the rest of the face had sunk beneath the waves of the LCL sea. Shinji drew in a shuddering breath. Asuka regarded him with the same blank expression she had adopted since he began his story.

"Kaji…he didn't scold me, or tell me what to do… he just smiled and told me that I was special…. I had a choice. It wasn't for him to tell me what to do with my life, all he could do was water his watermelons and watch from afar," Shinji stopped, his eyes downcast, his expression tight.

"So you chose to be an Eva pilot and save the world," Asuka said with disinterest, "Anyone would have done that."

"No," Shinji said with a conviction that brought Asuka's attention back to him, "I chose to be an Eva pilot when I needed to be, not an Eva pilot alone."

Asuka frowned with confusion at his words.

"What the hell's the difference you dork? You're an Eva pilot, that's what you do, whether you're doing it all the time makes no difference."

Shinji's hand tightened on Asuka's and she gasped at his vice grip.

"It makes all the difference in the world," Shinji ground out, a frantic gleam in his eyes, "I thought that if I piloted Eva, that's all I would be defined by, that's all that people would know me for, and it made me disgusted."

Noticing that she was starting to squirm uncomfortably, Shinji let go of her hand and exhaled, letting go of the panic that was starting to flood back into him.

"I thought Kaji was telling me that running away or fighting made no difference in the end; I would always be limited to piloting Eva if I wanted to find a reason for my existence," Shinji said more calmly as Asuka continued to listen.

"In the Third Impact, Ayanami showed me that limiting myself to Eva as the only validation in my life was both selfish and cowardly,"

"Two things you're really good at doing, I might add," Asuka interrupted with a wry grin on her face. Shinji made a face at her and continued.

"Right, well I came to realize that I wanted to be more than an Eva pilot, I wanted to be myself, I wanted to be the house broken man you always made fun of, the classmate and friend to Toji and Kensuke,"

"You wanted a normal life, with friends and family," Asuka finished for him.

"Let me ask you this Shinji…. What did you find piloting Eva?"

"That's simple," Shinji said with a genuine smile on his face, "I found my mother and the love she would always keep just for me."

"Is it enough to keep you going now that you've come back to this place of suffering and loneliness?"

Shinji paused for a while, his old fears still trying to get the best of him, but those demons had lost their hold on him during the spiritual catharsis he had experienced during the Third Impact.

"Yes," he answered in an unwavering voice.

Asuka smiled in return.

"Good," she said softly, "It's enough for me too."

With slow deliberateness, Asuka leaned over and planted her lips on Shinji's. It was gentle yet firm at the same time, a pledge of both support and antagonism when necessary. Rapture and apprehension both coursing through his body, Shinji shifted to meet Asuka's lips with his own as he brought his hand up to caress her cheek. The pledge was returned and the promise of companionship unquestionable.

After a while, Shinji lay on his back, with Asuka resting her cheek on his chest. Her face suddenly serious again, she turned to look up at him.

"I can't be the ideal companion for you Shinji. I won't always be there for you, and I may hurt you again and again…. I still have my own issues to sort out…," Asuka began uncertainly, but Shinji smiled warmly and with suprising confidence, reached down to hold her hand.

"The bad times come with the good, and even on rainy days we can have fun. If I was still hung up on the notion of a perfect girl Asuka, I'd never have stopped the Third Impact. You are who you are, and I am who I am. If we're going to suffer through this world, I'd rather we suffer together."

"Because," Shinji explained gently, "I want to get a chance to finally help you. I want to be your friend….I want to be your companion."

Asuka's eyes had filled with tears. Tears of anger at the lengths events had to go to before Ikari had finally owned up to her, tears of relief that they were finally free of impending destruction, but mostly, tears of happiness at the fact that she wasn't alone.

"It took you long enough, you idiot," she said, her voice cracking as he bent down to kiss her.

"Congratulations," Asuka whispered into Shinji's ears as they lay curled up together on the beach.

Off in the distance, the Lilith head was no longer visible, having completely sunk beneath the waves. It lay in peace at last.


	2. New Beginnings

Rei/Lilith watched Shinji and Asuka embrace each other on the beach with an inscrutable expression on her face. 'Rei,' 'Lilith,' 'Yui….' The titles mattered little to the girl who contained the soul of mankind's mother within her. Rei remained silent as she watched the ending of an era for mankind, and the beginning of a new one. Slowly, she slid under the waves of LCL, and sank back into the primordial soup of human souls below her. As she descended, the LCL around her shifted from red to soft, shimmering yellow.

Coming into clear sight in front of Rei, a young woman with short, brown hair approached her. A calm expression on her face that did little to hide the anxiety in her eyes, and soul, Yui Ikari nodded in greeting to Rei.

"Has he made his decision?" Yui's voice carried an uncharacteristic note of strain, audible even in the ethereal world of human souls.

Rei regarded Yui for a long moment, noting the striking physical similarities between themselves. Her body, a clone of Yui's, and containing the soul of Lilith – the mother of all humanity – Rei was still an individual separate from either; and had finally come to terms with her identity during the Third Impact.

"He has," Rei nodded slowly.

"And?" Yui asked, the flesh around her eyes tightening.

"His decision was his own to make," Rei said with mild reproof, but she smiled softly. Catching her look, Yui's face dissolved into relief, and she returned the smile.

"She's good for him, you know," Yui offered.

"And he is good for her," Rei countered, a hint of wry humor in her eyes. Yui smiled reflectively at that, and turned away to watch the flitting flashes of human souls as they darted about in the LCL around her.

"So what now?" Yui asked calmly, her back still to Rei. Rei thought for a moment, letting the yellow LCL drift across her face and push her azure hair in all directions.

"The decision to return must be given to all," Rei stated decisively. At this, Yui turned to regard her, a sad smile on her face.

"It will take time…"

"We have time," Rei returned, "But for now, immediate matters need to be dealt with." Closing her crimson eyes, Rei seemed to concentrate for a moment. Drifting into existence before the two women like an apparition, the hunched form of Keel Lorenz appeared. Regarding first Rei, then Yui with a sneer, the Chairman of Seele said nothing. Yui regarded him stonily, no expression of emotion showing on her now blank face. Rei broke the silence first, her voice calm and without malice.

"You have much to answer for, Keel."

"I did what I thought best for humanity! I make no apologies," Keel growled at Rei, his brow furrowed and teeth clenched. "Certainly not to a half-breed abomination like you!" At this, Yui's eyes narrowed to slits.

"We did not ask for an apology," Rei replied calmly, "You have been called to make a decision."

Keel's expression darkened even further.

"What decision?"

"Stay down here, or return," Yui offered icily. Keel turned pale and his jaw gaped with horror.

"You can't take this away! This is the pinnacle of humanity's evolution; an existence without pain or loneliness." Keel's scowl returned when he saw his arguments were having little effect on both Rei and Yui.

"Just as you took the first decision away from others, the final decision is taken away from you," Yui stated coldly.

"You can't be serious Yui," Keel spat angrily, "You were our successor! You know better than anyone else, the exquisite perfection of Instrumentality."

Yui returned his angry glare with an eloquent silence.

"Ungrateful bitch!" Keel roared, a note of desperation in his voice, "Fine, let it all return! Seele will be reborn, and the quest for mankind's godhood will continue, with or without you."

"No," Rei replied stiffly.

"No," Yui affirmed, placing her left arm around Rei and looking down at her with a bitter-sweet smile on her face.

"Eva is my sin, and I will atone for it," Yui whispered, her voice nonetheless, containing an iron conviction in it, "I will remain here for eternity, to prevent it from ever happening again."

"You can't do this!" Keel sneered with disdain, "You would forsake everything we have worked for just to be _alone_ again?"

Decisively, Rei placed her right hand over Yui's left and faced Keel.

"She will not be alone. And her decision has already been made. It is clear that you are beyond redemption. Your fate will be determined by your future actions Lorenz Keel, choose them wisely."

Before Keel could get in a reply, Rei savagely jerked her hand in a chopping motion, and he faded from view. Softly stroking Rei's shoulder, Yui smiled at her gently.

"Thank you for that Rei. Don't let it get to you. Some will never understand."

"I do not wish for another Third Impact Dr. Ikari," Rei said quietly, "I will help you in any way that I can." Yui responded by putting both her arms around Rei in a tender embrace. A few moments passed in silence, and Rei stirred in Yui's arms, moving away as the business at hand had to be dealt with.

"And you three," Rei said after they had separated, "What have you decided?"

Abruptly, Toji Suzuhara, Aida Kensuke, and Hikari Horaki popped into existence in front of Yui and Rei. Bemused expressions on all three of their faces, they looked at one another before turning back to face the two women.

"Let me get this straight," Aida said in a serious voice as he pushed his glasses up, "Shinji and Asuka think they're the only ones left on the planet?"

Rei nodded slowly, "The decision was given first to them, so no one else has returned yet."

"Typical," Aida said with a good-natured grin on his face, "Shinji always gets to try something first. Well, I say it's time we get back there and crash his private party!"

"Hell yeah!" Toji agreed, "Plus we gotta make sure the red-haired banshee doesn't suck his brains out or something,' "

Clearing her throat loudly, and aiming a well placed elbow at his stomach, Hikari asserted her authority.

"Shut it Suzuhara," she growled as he doubled over in agony, "I think it'll be great to see Asuka again," she said with a smile on her face, "And it looks like I'll be keeping an eye on the 'Three Stooges' again too."

Yui watched the exchange quietly and smiled at them after they made clear their decision.

"Good luck kids, and take care of Shinji for me!"

"Don't worry Dr. Ikari," Hikari replied respectfully, but with a big grin on her face.

"Yeah, no sweat Shinji's mom, see ya!" Toji crowed.

"Thank you Dr. Ikari," Aida offered brightly. Almost self-consciously, he turned to look at Rei with a shy smile on his face. "And Rei… maybe you could come visit us sometime… you're always welcome here with us."

"Ah, yes," Rei replied a slight blush on her surprised face, "Thank you. Perhaps I will some time."

Yui hid her smile with a well timed cough, and waved at the departing children.

"Take care kids!" The trio waved back and faded from view.

"And what do the adults think?" Rei asked into the silence, and immediately, Misato Katsuragi and Kaji Ryoji materialized before them. Kaji had a smug grin on his face but before he could speak, Misato – wearing a bitter smile – broke in first.

"Did you just call me an 'adult?' " She asked quietly, "How can a flawed, dirty creature like me be considered an 'adult?' " There was no mistaking the self-loathing and regret that permeated her voice and emotions. In response, Yui merely raised her right eyebrow slightly.

"Everyone makes mistakes Major Katsuragi. Adults simply learn from them and move on. For all your supposed flaws, you have always had the courage to do what is right. More to the point, you have become the mother to Shinji I could never be."

Misato blushed slightly, but refused to look up at Yui.

"If you're flawed, your flaws complete the overall perfection of your character," Yui offered earnestly, "If you're dirty, it is the grime of this imperfect world that stains you."

A heavy burden seemed to lift itself from Misato, and she unconsciously straightened up and looked at Yui. Tears threatened to flow from her eyes, but Misato resolutely held them at bay.

"I…. I…. thank you…," She managed to whisper, the catharsis of relief audible in her voice. Kaji, who had remained silent during the conversation, grinned as he put his arm around her possessively.

"C'mon Misato," he prodded, "It's a new beginning. Let go of the past and learn from your mistakes, right? Those kids are gonna need some guidance, and who better to learn from than the two people who have made the most mistakes in their lives: you and me!"

Misato smiled slightly, but turned to look back at Rei and Yui with a serious look on her face.

"It's a big responsibility."

"Which is why we're asking you," Rei replied sincerely.

"You guys seem to know the answer you want to hear from me," Misato said with a grimace.

"The choice of course, is yours," Yui explained innocently, "It's just hard for us to sit by and let the best person for the job get away." Kaji started to laugh, and even Rei had a slight smile on her face.

"All right, all right," Misato said in between giggling, "I'll go back. Guess it would be hypocritical of me to stay here after that big speech I gave to Shinji about taking responsibility."

"Yeah," Kaji added in his most innocent tone of voice, "Plus you did promise to 'finish the rest' after he got back." Something dangerous flashed across Misato's eyes as she jerked up to look at Kaji suspiciously.

"What are you talking about?"

"You know, after you got shot," Kaji explained, a mischievous grin breaking through his innocent façade, "And you gave Shinji an 'adult kiss' you promised to 'do the rest' after he got back...I'm sure he's still waiting."

Misato seemed to spit with outrage as her entire face burned a deep crimson. "Why you! You bastard! Of all the embarrassing things to bring up! When we get back I'm gonna beat you till you stay dead!"

Kaji laughed heartily and continued to egg her on. "I do hope you'll be more gentle than our first time together… you were so strong!"

Misato seemed to erupt like a volcano, inarticulate sounds of anger bursting out of her as she attempted to strangle Kaji. Kaji continued to laugh as he held her at bay while Rei looked on in mystified disbelief and Yui cleared her throat in a dignified way.

"Good luck you two, and please continue to look after Shinji for me," Yui said with an amused look on her face. Kaji and Misato abruptly stopped arguing and turned to say their farewells to her.

"It was a pleasure to meet you Dr. Ikari," Kaji offered a bow, and then turned to nod at Rei, "Take care of yourself Rei."

Rei bowed in return, "Yes sir."

Abruptly, Misato hugged Rei in an embrace that caught her completely by surprise. "Take care of your self Rei," she said as tears streamed down her face, "Don't ever hesitate to come see us. I'm sure the others would love to see you again sometime."

Rei nodded awkwardly as she moved out of Misato's arms, "Ah, yes ma'am… thank you ma'am."

Misato smiled at her and then turned to face Yui, a determined expression on her face. "I promise you, I will take care of your son as best I can," she said gravely, "I will take care of them all."

Yui took Misato's hand and looked at her. "Just keep being the person you have always been and I have no doubt in my mind that you will keep your promise." Misato blushed in a pleased sort of way.

"Thank you," she said as Kaji came and placed his arm around her again.

"Well then," Kaji said smugly, "These two 'adults' are off to take some responsibility! See you guys!" And with that, the two faded away from sight. Yui shook her head even as she smiled to herself.

"I can see why you thought those two would be perfect guardians," she told Rei. Rei nodded slightly then closed her eyes.

"And now, let the ring leaders make their choice," Rei said calmly as Gendou Ikari and Ritsuko Akagi appeared before them. Ritsuko glanced at Gendou, then back at Yui, visibly gritting her teeth. Gendou fixed his eyes on Yui, a look of terrible yearning in his expression.

"Yui…," he began uncertainly.

"Stay here or go back, what is your decision husband?" Yui cut him off coldly.

"I – I want to be with you again Yui. I've yearned for this moment since the day you vanished," Gendou said, his voice cracking, "That's all I want… please."

"That is no longer an option," Yui replied evenly. Gendou's eyes flashed with both frustration and guilt.

"Everything," he gritted out, "Everything I've done up until now has been for you!"

"And everything I did was for our son," Yui replied sharply, her eyes flashing with genuine anger, "You would have sacrificed the only thing that matters to me… I'm sorry Gendou… It's time we take responsibility for our actions, both you and me."

Gendou considered this for a little while even as Ritsuko watched him out of the corner of her eye. Abruptly straightening up, Gendou looked Yui square in the eye.

"I will wait here as long as it takes to see you again," he breathed out, "Forever if necessary." Yui smiled sadly at him while Ritsuko visibly sighed with disappointment.

"Stay then, and wait for me," Yui replied softly. Rei closed her eyes and Gendou faded from sight. Sullenly, Ritsuko watched him leave and then turned to face Rei and Yui, bracing herself for the worst.

"And you, Dr. Akagi," Rei said into the silence, "What have you decided?" Ritsuko snorted softly and jammed her hands in the pockets of her lab coat.

"Yui Ikari and Rei Ayanami," she began bitterly, "The two people I've sinned against the most now pass judgment on me…" Yui frowned slightly and shook her head.

"You misunderstand Ritsuko," she said gently.

"We do not decide," Rei put in quietly.

"Nor do we judge," Yui added with a calm smile on her face.

"You're the ones that don't understand," Ritsuko managed to get out, "I've done and seen things that take me beyond redemption…"

"Redemption is not the issue here," Yui said softly, "How you live now is up to you. Forgive yourself or not, the decision must be made by you and you alone."

"I did it all for him," Ritsuko moaned, ignoring Yui's words, "I gave my life and soul for him, and he chose a doll over me." She glared at Rei with bitter venom.

"A doll!" Ritsuko spat, "How much more pathetic can I be as a woman?" Yui smiled as she placed her hand gently on Ritsuko's shoulder.

"Ritsuko, you are just like your mother. You follow your heart more than you'd like to admit. I have always admired that trait in her, and I admire it in you." Ritsuko refused to look at Yui, as tears began to stream down her face. Sighing gently, Yui removed her hand.

"Don't be ashamed of who you are… ever."

"There's nothing left for me," Ritsuko wailed, "There hasn't been anything left for a long time." She quietly sobbed as the grief of her loneliness finally broke to the surface. "I can't go back. I won't go back."

"Then stay Dr. Akagi," Rei offered softly, "The choice to return will always be available to you if you choose it." Finally, Ritsuko looked up at Rei and Yui, a distinct note of pleading in her voice.

"I'm sorry Rei… I'm sorry Yui. I've made such a mess of things. I" her broken words were cut off as Yui shook her head decisively.

"We've already forgiven you Ritsuko. The only person left to forgive you is yourself…. Perhaps in the time you spend here you can do that."

"Thank you," Ritsuko replied softly as she faded from view. Rei inclined her head and then turned to look at Yui.

"That takes care of the main players," Yui said in a satisfied tone of voice.

"There remain others that need to be offered the same choice," Rei reminded her quietly. Yui nodded in agreement, a wry smile on her face.

"Millions of others."

"It will be a lot of work," Rei offered as she looked uncertainly at Yui, "Are you sure you wish to stay Dr. Ikari? You can still return to the others if you wish." Yui shook her head and regarded the shimmering, yellow LCL that surrounded them.

"In truth, the Third Impact is my fault," Yui stated, "I designed and built the Evas. I helped instigate the return of the Angels. In my prideful arrogance, I believed mankind capable of godhood simply because we had the tools and technology for it."

Yui smiled ruefully as she continued, "But I was wrong. Humanity is inherently flawed; we lack the spiritual perfection necessary for the next step." Rei watched Yui carefully, choosing her words slowly.

"Does this disappoint you Dr. Ikari?" Yui grinned at Rei's question, laughter dancing in her eyes.

"No! It exhilarates me. We are finally freed from the constraints of guided evolution to a so-called 'state of perfection.' Our race can continue to develop and exist the way it was meant to. That is the next step Rei, letting go of the quest for godhood."

"I believe that is what your son wanted," Rei commented quietly.

"And I believe it is thanks to you that he was given that choice," Yui replied, regarding Rei respectfully. Rei blushed slightly at her comment.

"I only did what I thought should be done, nothing more." Yui smiled as she took Rei's hand in her own.

"I know." Yui looked up at the surface of the LCL that divided the sea of humanity from the living world, and then regarded Rei thoughtfully.

"Go visit them Rei," Yui urged, "Just for a little while. You deserve it and so do they."

"But there is so much that still needs to be done here," Rei replied, a note of restrained discouragement in her voice. Yui nodded firmly in response.

"Much work indeed. But it won't be going anywhere for a long time. I'll still be here when you're done. Don't worry," Yui said with a wink. Rei looked at her uncertainly, clearly torn.

"I do not wish for you to be alone Dr. Ikari."

"I'm never alone Rei," Yui replied with a grin, "And neither are you… remember that." Rei nodded slowly.

"Yes Dr. Ikari… I …. Thank you." Yui nodded and Rei faded from view.

Yui hovered a few inches above the red surface of the LCL, her form supported by an invisible force. She smiled to herself as Rei tentatively made her way to the beach, which was already relatively crowded by a small but boisterous group of people. In the center of it all, Shinji and Asuka sat together, their hands clasped together. A jubilant expression mingled with disbelief seemed plastered on Shinji's face as he regarded his newly returned friends. Next to him, Asuka was busy telling Hikari, Toji, and Aida about her last battle with the Eva series. Judging by the horrified expression on Hikari's face, and the fascination on Aida's, Asuka was sparing them no details.

Toji sidled over next to Shinji and muttered something in his ear. To Toji's surprise, Shinji started to snicker, and whispered something back. Whatever was exchanged was clearly not meant for Asuka to overhear, because she immediately whirled around and started yelling at Toji and Shinji. Shinji said something with a smug expression on his face which seemed to spur Asuka toward violence.

With a visible howl of rage, she tackled Shinji to the ground and started to choke him. Aida and Hikari were on their feet now, and had joined Toji as they started cheering on the two combatants. Off to the left, Misato's brow had furrowed, and she looked ready to intervene, but Kaji placed his hand gently on her shoulder and shook his head with a lopsided grin.

Clearly, Shinji was looking to be the underdog of this match, and his face was already turning purple. Long ago however, Shinji had learned not to contend with Asuka with brute force alone, and he would now apply this knowledge to devastating effect. Both his hands let go of Asuka's as she continued to throttle him, and instead, snaked up to her ribs. Wriggling his fingers for all they were worth, Shinji began to tickle Asuka vigorously.

Even from Yui's vantage point, Asuka's spasming and jerking were clear. Her grip on Shinji's throat broke, and she squirmed off of him, even as she continued to howl with laughter. Sensing victory, Shinji jumped on top of her and began to tickle mercilessly. Finally, tears of laughter glistening in her eyes, Asuka tapped out and Shinji rolled off of her. Aida, Toji, and Hikari looked stunned. No one had ever opposed Asuka **_and_** won. It was a first. The fact that it was Shinji who had achieved victory made it that much more surreal.

A sheepish smile on his face, Shinji offered his hand to Asuka, who was still panting on the ground, with her face down. When she looked up, Aida, Hikari, and Toji looked ready to faint. Rather than a characteristic angry scowl planted on her face, a genuine smile filled with good humor lit up her features. Laughingly, she took Shinji's hand and got up. The two of them turned and sauntered over to the other three, who were by now hooting with laughter at the unlikely pairing.

In the background, Misato looked dumb founded, a bemused expression stuck in place. Kaji was all grins as he placed his right arm around her and whispered something into her ear. Misato blushed slightly, but leaned her head into his chest and smiled, her expression carrying a serene contentment never before seen.

Shinji's smile froze for a second and then faded when he caught sight of Rei approaching them. The others stopped talking and watched as the First Child got nearer. Rei stopped a few yards from them and stood nervously as they scrutinized her. Asuka gazed hard at Rei for a long time, while Shinji seemed to regard her with puzzlement. Misato and Kaji stood in the background, saying nothing, as if holding their breaths. The red waves of LCL continued to lap against the shore as the awkward silence continued to drag on.

Abruptly, and almost simultaneously, Shinji and Asuka stepped forward and bridged the distance that separated them from Rei. With warm smiles on both their faces, they placed their hands on her shoulders and brought her back to the group. Aida and Toji were grinning impishly while Hikari smiled softly and extended her hand in greeting. Her face flushed with excitement and apprehension, Rei nonetheless managed a shy smile and bowed in greeting to the others. By then, Misato and Kaji had joined the group and were exchanging greetings with everyone. Toji and Aida were ogling Misato, or at least Aida was, because Hikari had pulled Toji away by his left ear after a pleasant exchange with Misato and Kaji.

Asuka was speaking enthusiastically to Kaji, an eager expression on her face. And yet, her left arm remained firmly entwined with Shinji's right. Misato smiled serenely and listened as Shinji shared his own experiences with her. Rei stood next to Shinji, not speaking, but clearly enjoying the discussions taking place around her. In all their souls, Yui could sense the flame of hope burning brightly. It was a good start.

Watching everyone for one last time, Yui sank back into the LCL and returned to the ethereal. There were many souls that required her assistance, and she intended to redeem herself no matter how long it took. _A time to every purpose under Heaven, _she mused to herself, _And time is something we will never run out of. _

END.


End file.
